Forty years later…

It’s been a thousand years since I posted something here. Well, just over one year, but still. Many many many thoughts for so long, and very little brain power to string them into cohesive sentences. So many things going on in the world, in our country, in our state, our town, our homes, our lives.

You don’t need my two cents on any of it. So, here’s what’s new:

If you don’t already, please consider checking out my Instagram and YouTube channels. Just search for carolesenn. I post original songs, videos about my spiritual journey, and discussions about my family’s life with autism.

Also, if you enjoy wrestling and podcasts, please check out WrestleLifeRadio wherever you get your podcasts. My husband, brother-in-law, and cousin-in-law host it, and my sister-in-law and I are occasional guests.

Also also, I play Dungeons and Dragons now. Like a lot of Dungeons and Dragons. And when I’m not playing Dungeons and Dragons, I’m wishing I was playing Dungeons and Dragons. I need one of those “I’d rather be” bumper stickers. I’m involved in two different campaigns and enjoy DMing one-shots. I’m considering starting a D&D page on this blog where I share short stories I write from the games we play. I love to write follow-ups or journal entries by my characters to share with other players. So nothing for you to read right now, but hopefully soon.

Also thirdly, please please please check out my new Wattpad profile: DayzeeJayne! I’m posting a fanfiction fantasy, steampunk, fluff piece that I’m currently writing called Because He Met Her: In Which Jack Dandy Acquires a Little Sister. It’s the first time I’ve ever shared a WIP, and I’m really excited about it.

Here’s the link, or you can download the Wattpad app for free and search for me:

https://embed.wattpad.com/story/234444062

In all this chaos, ki eezane, be safe my dears,

Carole/Carlyn/Calyse/DayzeeJayne/Carry/Miss Cinnamon/Miss Zen/Carle/Carloe/Crole

Shameless plug: my YouTube channel

I’ve recently started up a YouTube channel all my own! I have about a dozen videos and will be adding more on topics like: autism, sensory processing disorder, my young adult vampire fiction novels, God stuff, and my original songs. Please check it out if you are interested in any of those things or if you simply want to support a starving artist (okay, I am literally wolfing down homemade banana bread as I type, so maybe it’s just ‘starving for attention.’)

Thanks!

Carole

Here’s a glimpse:

“For a Rose” an original song that I wrote which was inspired by Tamaki and Haruhi of Ouran High School Host Club:

 

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I sent an email out to everyone this morning. EVERYONE.

And it finally happened.

I mistype my own name all the time, but I always notice and fix it.

But I knew one day, I wouldn’t catch it. It was just a matter of time.

There are many variations:

Carl

Carle

Carol

Today, it was Crole. And of course it was sent to “Everyone.”

Well. Nothing to do but embrace it.

Your new friend,

Crole

No shame. No snakes!

Today was weird.

Very clumsy day, lots of tripping, couldn’t remember the names of students I’ve known for years, and forgot my own ID number to buy lunch.

I wrote the word ‘friend’ on a 4 year old’s drawing because she asked me to do so and then questioned the spelling for about 90 straight seconds. I simply could not convince myself that f-r-i-e-n-d was correct.

Then, I came home and found a tiny snake in my house.

And I paid a very unhappy amount of money to have him removed.

And I have no regrets about any of it.

Know your limits.

No shame.

No snakes!

When All You Can Do is Pray

Sometimes we overuse the phrase, “All you can do is pray,” until it begins to sound far less powerful than it truly is. God is great, He heals, and I’m grateful!

 

Darkness fell early that evening

“I think it is especially painful to realize that the life you once had, once treasured, has slipped away. And you have no hope of ever recovering it.”

“Do you still treasure it now? Do you want to recover it?” she asked, getting straight to the point as fairies tended to do.

He wanted to say no, knew that the right answer was no.

But.

“I don’t know.”

– The Walls We Built, C. Senn

Happy Querying!

I sent out 7 query letters yesterday to literary agents for my new novel In Your Shadow: The Vampire’s Companion. I’ve got a really good feeling about this one…

Time and Lamentations

Time marches on.

And we can be dragged along with it, kicking and screaming, demanding the opportunity to go back and change the past.

But we cannot go back.

We can only move forward.

Whether or not we want to.

Because Time marches on.

So I’ll stand up. Brush off the past. Admit that I don’t have it all together yet.

And walk forward, hand-in-hand, with Time.

For we cannot go back.

We can only move forward.

Whether or not we want to.

And Time will provide plenty of opportunities to change the future.

If we spend our Time lamenting the opportunities we have missed or ruined, we will miss or ruin more of them.

Break out of the cycle.

Move forward.

Change the future.

Crowded Mind: Part I

“Do you really think about that,

all the time?”

I wonder why he asked me that,

surprise in his eyes.

 

Does he not know I wait for sleep,

every night?

Waiting to wake up one morning,

and find it a dream.

 

The dreams I dressed up as nightmares,

where you speak,

I see what could have been, wake up,

and I scream.

Oh. Em. Goodness. So what happened at Collective Con was…

The guy in line in front of me says, “thanks,” and walks away.

It’s my turn.

My throat closes right up, and I have to talk my brain into spitting out the words I’ve rehearsed over and over for the last two hours.

“Hi!” I manage with a smile as I step up to Johnny Yong Bosch’s table at Collective Con this morning, ready to remind him that we met yesterday, that we talked about Fullmetal Alchemist, and that he signed a print and took a picture with me.

But before I can say any of that, his eyes narrow.

“Car…ole?” he ventures.

“Yes!” I say, thrilled that he not only remembers that I visited his table yesterday, but that he remembers my name.

I proceed to explain that I drew a picture for him. I preface with the fact that I saw him at Collective Con last year when he told “the quarter story,” and that I thought at the time that I should draw a picture of what I imagined when I heard that story and give it to him if I ever got to see him again.

And that I didn’t do it.

So, I woke up this morning and thought, “I have to do it. I have to draw it. And if I draw it, I have to give it to him. Even if it’s no good, and he doesn’t like it, I have to do it.”

So I did it.

I drew it.

I walked up to his table.

And with my heart beating so loudly Kyle Hebert must have been able to hear it two tables away, I handed my drawing to Johnny Yong Bosch.

And got exactly the reaction I had hoped for.

Okay, so I told myself that I was prepared for anything. That I would be perfectly fine if all he said was, “Huh, cool. Thanks.”

The reaction I actually got was unbelievably rewarding. Made the heart racing, stomach in knots, I-can’t-possibly-take-this-risk feelings so worth it. He really liked it, laughed, showed it to his friend right away, and took a picture of it before putting it away. He offered me a print of Yukio, and I could not have felt more appreciative and appreciated.

I floated away from that table. Feet did not touch the ground.

Then later…he posted my drawing on Instagram.

I think I hit the ceiling.

I haven’t stopped grinning since.

😀

😀

😀

Seriously.

I can’t stop.

😀

Me, Johnny Yong Bosch, and Matt 😀

Me and Johnny Yong Bosch! So excited!!

Johnny Yong Bosch

The picture I drew for Johnny Yong Bosch. Worked up the nerve to give it to him, and he posted it on Instagram!

The picture I drew for Johnny Yong Bosch. Worked up the nerve to give it to him, and he posted it on Instagram!

Johnny Yong Bosch gave me this when I gave him the picture I drew for him! ❤

Matt with Kyle Hebert, voice actor for Ryu and Gohan

Autograph from Kyle Hebert, voice actor for Ryu and Gohan

Autograph from Kyle Hebert, voice actor for Ryu and Gohan

Autograph in Fairy Tail vol. 1 from Cherami Leigh who voices Lucy

Autograph in Fairy Tail vol. 1 from Cherami Leigh who voices Lucy

Johnny Yong Bosch and Jason Faunt

Johnny Yong Bosch and Jason Faunt

Johnny Yong Bosch and Jason Faunt

Johnny Yong Bosch and Jason Faunt

Kyle Hebert and Cherami Leigh

Kyle Hebert and Cherami Leigh

Roger E. Mosley

Chester Rushing and Chelsea Talmadge from Stranger Things

Chester Rushing

Chester Rushing from Stranger Things

Met Master Skywalker!

LOVE these! I got 2 others from the artist last year and was so happy to see her again this year!

Fun stuff from artist alley!

LOVE THIS GUY! Thankful to him and to my parents and brother for all their support, encouragement, and belief in my bravery. I couldn’t do it without you guys.

“I’d be lost without you.”

I’m always inspired whenever I have a chance to immerse myself in creativity. Conventions are no exception. All the artists and actors really inspire me to continue working on my writing, both books and songs, and on my artwork. I’m writing a brand new young-adult novel called In Your Shadow about a vampire and his best friend, and I’m super excited about it. It’s about friendship, loyalty, and figuring out who you are in the midst of chaos. Hoping to have it ready to start pitching to agents by June.

Take risks, embrace the racing heartbeat, and get out there.

–ki eezane