Dear Diary

Posted: October 18, 2018 in Uncategorized
Dear Diary,
I sent an email out to everyone this morning. EVERYONE.
And it finally happened.
I mistype my own name all the time, but I always notice and fix it.
But I knew one day, I wouldn’t catch it. It was just a matter of time.
There are many variations:
Carl
Carle
Carol
Today, it was Crole. And of course it was sent to “Everyone.”
Well. Nothing to do but embrace it.
Your new friend,
Crole
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No shame. No snakes!

Posted: September 18, 2018 in Uncategorized

Today was weird.

Very clumsy day, lots of tripping, couldn’t remember the names of students I’ve known for years, and forgot my own ID number to buy lunch.

I wrote the word ‘friend’ on a 4 year old’s drawing because she asked me to do so and then questioned the spelling for about 90 straight seconds. I simply could not convince myself that f-r-i-e-n-d was correct.

Then, I came home and found a tiny snake in my house.

And I paid a very unhappy amount of money to have him removed.

And I have no regrets about any of it.

Know your limits.

No shame.

No snakes!

When All You Can Do is Pray

Posted: September 10, 2018 in Uncategorized

Sometimes we overuse the phrase, “All you can do is pray,” until it begins to sound far less powerful than it truly is. God is great, He heals, and I’m grateful!

 

“I think it is especially painful to realize that the life you once had, once treasured, has slipped away. And you have no hope of ever recovering it.”

“Do you still treasure it now? Do you want to recover it?” she asked, getting straight to the point as fairies tended to do.

He wanted to say no, knew that the right answer was no.

But.

“I don’t know.”

The Walls We Built, C. Senn

Happy Querying!

Posted: May 20, 2018 in Uncategorized

I sent out 7 query letters yesterday to literary agents for my new novel In Your Shadow: The Vampire’s Companion. I’ve got a really good feeling about this one…

Time and Lamentations

Posted: April 15, 2018 in Uncategorized

Time marches on.

And we can be dragged along with it, kicking and screaming, demanding the opportunity to go back and change the past.

But we cannot go back.

We can only move forward.

Whether or not we want to.

Because Time marches on.

So I’ll stand up. Brush off the past. Admit that I don’t have it all together yet.

And walk forward, hand-in-hand, with Time.

For we cannot go back.

We can only move forward.

Whether or not we want to.

And Time will provide plenty of opportunities to change the future.

If we spend our Time lamenting the opportunities we have missed or ruined, we will miss or ruin more of them.

Break out of the cycle.

Move forward.

Change the future.

Crowded Mind: Part I

Posted: April 4, 2018 in Uncategorized

“Do you really think about that,

all the time?”

I wonder why he asked me that,

surprise in his eyes.

 

Does he not know I wait for sleep,

every night?

Waiting to wake up one morning,

and find it a dream.

 

The dreams I dressed up as nightmares,

where you speak,

I see what could have been, wake up,

and I scream.

The guy in line in front of me says, “thanks,” and walks away.

It’s my turn.

My throat closes right up, and I have to talk my brain into spitting out the words I’ve rehearsed over and over for the last two hours.

“Hi!” I manage with a smile as I step up to Johnny Yong Bosch’s table at Collective Con this morning, ready to remind him that we met yesterday, that we talked about Fullmetal Alchemist, and that he signed a print and took a picture with me.

But before I can say any of that, his eyes narrow.

“Car…ole?” he ventures.

“Yes!” I say, thrilled that he not only remembers that I visited his table yesterday, but that he remembers my name.

I proceed to explain that I drew a picture for him. I preface with the fact that I saw him at Collective Con last year when he told “the quarter story,” and that I thought at the time that I should draw a picture of what I imagined when I heard that story and give it to him if I ever got to see him again.

And that I didn’t do it.

So, I woke up this morning and thought, “I have to do it. I have to draw it. And if I draw it, I have to give it to him. Even if it’s no good, and he doesn’t like it, I have to do it.”

So I did it.

I drew it.

I walked up to his table.

And with my heart beating so loudly Kyle Hebert must have been able to hear it two tables away, I handed my drawing to Johnny Yong Bosch.

And got exactly the reaction I had hoped for.

Okay, so I told myself that I was prepared for anything. That I would be perfectly fine if all he said was, “Huh, cool. Thanks.”

The reaction I actually got was unbelievably rewarding. Made the heart racing, stomach in knots, I-can’t-possibly-take-this-risk feelings so worth it. He really liked it, laughed, showed it to his friend right away, and took a picture of it before putting it away. He offered me a print of Yukio, and I could not have felt more appreciative and appreciated.

I floated away from that table. Feet did not touch the ground.

Then later…he posted my drawing on Instagram.

I think I hit the ceiling.

I haven’t stopped grinning since.

😀

😀

😀

Seriously.

I can’t stop.

😀

Me, Johnny Yong Bosch, and Matt 😀

Me and Johnny Yong Bosch! So excited!!

Johnny Yong Bosch

The picture I drew for Johnny Yong Bosch. Worked up the nerve to give it to him, and he posted it on Instagram!

The picture I drew for Johnny Yong Bosch. Worked up the nerve to give it to him, and he posted it on Instagram!

Johnny Yong Bosch gave me this when I gave him the picture I drew for him! ❤

Matt with Kyle Hebert, voice actor for Ryu and Gohan

Autograph from Kyle Hebert, voice actor for Ryu and Gohan

Autograph from Kyle Hebert, voice actor for Ryu and Gohan

Autograph in Fairy Tail vol. 1 from Cherami Leigh who voices Lucy

Autograph in Fairy Tail vol. 1 from Cherami Leigh who voices Lucy

Johnny Yong Bosch and Jason Faunt

Johnny Yong Bosch and Jason Faunt

Johnny Yong Bosch and Jason Faunt

Johnny Yong Bosch and Jason Faunt

Kyle Hebert and Cherami Leigh

Kyle Hebert and Cherami Leigh

Roger E. Mosley

Chester Rushing and Chelsea Talmadge from Stranger Things

Chester Rushing

Chester Rushing from Stranger Things

Met Master Skywalker!

LOVE these! I got 2 others from the artist last year and was so happy to see her again this year!

Fun stuff from artist alley!

LOVE THIS GUY! Thankful to him and to my parents and brother for all their support, encouragement, and belief in my bravery. I couldn’t do it without you guys.

“I’d be lost without you.”

I’m always inspired whenever I have a chance to immerse myself in creativity. Conventions are no exception. All the artists and actors really inspire me to continue working on my writing, both books and songs, and on my artwork. I’m writing a brand new young-adult novel called In Your Shadow about a vampire and his best friend, and I’m super excited about it. It’s about friendship, loyalty, and figuring out who you are in the midst of chaos. Hoping to have it ready to start pitching to agents by June.

Take risks, embrace the racing heartbeat, and get out there.

ki eezane

Ready for coffee in pjs,

Ready for Netflix reruns,

Ready for painting and reading and snacks,

Ready for non-scheduled lunch.

 

Ready to wake when I want to,

Ready to rise and be slow,

Ready to think about dreams and desires,

Or to think about nothing at all.

 

Ready to laugh when it’s bedtime,

Ready to silence alarms,

Ready for family and friends and alone,

Spring Break,

Ready…set…start!

I See Them

Posted: March 8, 2018 in Uncategorized

Do you hear me

at night

when I gasp

all alone

I cry,

Do you see them?

 

Do you see them

my tears

when I cry

all alone

I gasp,

Do you hate it?

 

Do you hate it

my mind

how it turns

all alone

my ache,

Do you love me?

 

Do you love me

my heart

how it aches

all alone,

My turn.

 

I hear you.

I see them.

I hate it.

I love you.